


Misheard

by amidtheflowers



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben is having a bad day, Comedy, F/M, Gift Fic, Hilarity Ensues, he mishears some things, vulgar and naughty language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28328469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amidtheflowers/pseuds/amidtheflowers
Summary: Ben does not drink. When he does, bad things ensue. And this time, Rey's got a front row seat.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 17
Kudos: 78





	Misheard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnnieMar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieMar/gifts).



> Happy Christmas! This is a gift fic for AnnieMar, who loves reylo and requested a fic where Ben overhears Rey talking about Ben Shapiro reciting the WAP lyrics...and thinks she's talking about him.
> 
> The bookstore quibbling is inspired from You've Got Mail, because why not and 'Tis the season. Except uh, this time Meg Ryan gets to keep her damn store and isn't out of business in NYC, hooray! Also unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Enjoy! xx

**Misheard**

-:-

In that moment, where Ben shoved himself against the hedges with a sliver of snow finding its way down his back, Ben wondered why he even bothered anymore.

It had taken a year for the tension between himself and Rey to edge off into friendly coexistence. His bookstore, _First Order_ , had merged with _The_ _Resistance_ , the competitor that Rey owned, with a surprising amount of ease. _First Order_ did not belong to _him_ , per se—rather, it was a very old family business that boomed to chain status in the last ten years. But when they opened shop in the lower Manhattan area, just across the street from _The Resistance_ , all hell broke loose.

In this case, the hellion was Rey—beautiful, angry, spitfire Rey. She waged all out war, and it amused him at first—this tiny, scrappy woman shaking her fist in his face threatening to make him pay. And she tried, but her little store could not compete with a chain bookstore that had a live music section and a coffee house, and his amusement faded to guilt.

“Join me,” he had said, holding out his hand as she taped a _Going Out of Business_ sign over the front window. “Come on. At least consider it.”

She had turned her flinty gaze at him, freezing him on the spot. “I would rather eat my own hair.”

His eyes had flickered up to the three buns neatly fastened down the back of her head, thinking how much he’d like to unravel them and run his fingers through her hair, and said (foolishly, god, so foolishly), “I could arrange that.”

It was a low point in their relationship, he had to admit. But somehow, after his mother Leia had a chat with her, they came to a tenuous agreement. Their shops would merge—she’d still keep the name, but _First Order_ was in partnership, and shoppers club benefits would apply in her bookstore. There were finances and legal documents to square away, an excruciating ordeal that Ben made sure to be present for, and maybe that had cracked some of Rey’s perceptions. She’d seen him nearly every day, saw that he wasn’t in fact a demon with fangs out for her blood. He didn’t try to screw her over financially in the merger. He’d also brought her coffee every day. And after the twelfth cup, Rey had stopped eyeing him with suspicion. After the thirteenth, she asked him how he was doing.

Sometime mid-October the tides finally turned. The merger was finalized, the meetings complete. And one afternoon Rey had walked in their store while he was there up front, smiled at him, and asked if he’d had lunch yet.

Ben had not stopped smiling the entire damned day.

“Shit!” Ben hissed. Another wedge of snow trickled down his back. He really needed to get out from this hedge…

But how could he? How could he face himself? If only his father was here. No, if only his _grandfather_ was here. Him and Padmé—well, he made that relationship work _somehow_. And he knew all of granddad’s stories. That guy fucked up a lot. _A_ _lot_. And Ben had royally fucked up.

It began and ended with Hennessy.

Ben did not like drinking. He was too high strung for it. Ben liked control, and alcohol would take all his control and would leave him as an idiot under a hedge.

But Hux had come around last night and shoved a glass in his hand saying “mate, it’s _Christmas_ ”, and Ben’s single sip had somehow turned into three glasses, and all he could remember was taking out his phone, hitting a button, and blubbering something or other before passing out cold on his living room floor.

He’d been too afraid to check his call history. Prayed he’d only phoned his mum and that was the end of it. But…

“…and then Ben said, ‘grab a bucket and a mop, that’s a wet ass p-word.” Rey’s voice shook with laughter and disgust.

A gasp and a laugh. “Just like that?” It was Finn.

“I shit you not. ‘There’s some whores in this house. There’s some _whores_ in this house.’ Just like that. Like fifteen times?”

“Shit!” Finn was doubled over, laughing.

“I’m like, Ben, please? Just?” Rey made an incoherent sound.

“Can’t believe it.”

“You better. I have the video on my phone.”

Ben made an unholy sound, face reddening as he stood in the back garden of Rey’s house, hands clutching a bottle of fucking rosé that he thought would be a good holiday gift for some reason. Rey paused. “Did you hear something?”

Ben dived under the hedges before either of them could turn around and see him standing there, and snow fell down his shoulders and back, and he was freezing and wet and oh god— _wet ass pussy??_ “I’m going to kill Hux,” Ben whispered miserably.

All that work. That progress. They were friends. She’d just started flirting with him. Something about his hair looking nice. Cute shit. Fuck, he’d just fucked this up and he’d never been so humiliated—

“Why are we killing Hux?”

Ben startled. Rey was standing in front of him. He didn’t even hear the back door open. She was smiling at him wryly. “That doesn’t look very comfortable. You okay there?”

Ben stared up at her. Words wouldn’t form and he couldn’t look her in the eye, so he looked over her shoulder. “I, uh.” A hard swallow. “It…I needed to sit.”

Rey blinked. “Fair. We have chairs inside, though. In case, you know, that becomes cold.”

How was she talking to him? As if he hadn’t ended their last conversation about wet pussy. Ben wished a force of nature would evaporate him on the spot.

He gathered enough wherewithal to know it was time to stand, so he pushed up from the ground and brushed off the snow from his shoulders. Stiffly, he held out the bottle. “Merry Christmas.”

Rey beamed. “Cheers. Come on in.”

Swallowing thickly, he followed her inside. Finn caught sight of him first as they entered through the kitchen, and he moved to clap Ben on the shoulder. “Good to see you, man. Want some champagne?”

“ _No_ ,” Ben said forcefully. Finn held up his hands and sauntered out of the kitchen into the living room. Flexing his fingers, Ben moved slowly out of the kitchen but not quite entering the living room. He saw Poe, Finn, Rey, Jannah, and Rose all sat around the sofa with the tree twinkling in the corner of the room. Poe was chuckling behind his hand. “Wait, wait—he said that in that voice?”

“I swear to you.”

“Rey’s got it on video,” Finn added slyly.

“Oh, _this_ I have to see,” said Jannah.

It was enough. Striding into the room, Ben hovered over Rey. “I need to talk to you. Please.”

Rey blinked, then said, “Yeah, sure. One sec, guys.”

She stood, then tossed her phone to Poe. “Just hit play.” Finn and Rose snorted and moved in closer. Ben wanted to die. Impulsively he wrapped his hand around Rey’s wrist and nearly dragged her to the kitchen.

He rounded on her. Rey was watching him curiously as he fought for composure, for finding the right words. It took him a moment.

Finally, Ben said, “I don’t drink.”

Rey stared. “…Oh?”

“No, I—I really don’t. I do bad things when I drink, and I know I’m a lightweight. I’m old enough to admit that.”

Rey continued looking at him like he’d grown an extra head. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Ben plowed on, “I _don’t_ drink, but when I _do_ , I say or do something stupid. And I never mean it. I’m sorry. Sorry. Fucking Hux. He put the glass in my hand and I’m too fucking polite.”

Rey grew alarmed. She pressed her hand on his shoulder. “Ben, is this a relapse? Do I need to call someone? I had no idea, I can get rid of the champagne.”

Ben glanced at her hand on his shoulder, then back at her. “No?”

Rey’s exhaled, relieved. “Then what is this about?”

Ben squeezed his eyes closed tightly. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Well you’re going to have to,” she snapped, giving him a hard look. Her patience had clearly worn out.

Ben dropped his forehead in his hand, not meeting her eyes. “The phone call,” he ground out. “With what I said.” She didn’t let up, staring. She was gonna make him say it. _Fuck me_. “I said. I said…. Grab a bucket, and a mop, that’s a. Wet ass”— _pussy!_ —“p-word.” He swallowed hard. “I heard you telling Finn. I know.”

Rey stared at him. And stared. And stared.

Ben hesitantly lifted his gaze to meet hers.

Her mouth was twitching. As if fighting off a smile. “Ben,” Rey said calmly. “What is your last name?”

Ben blinked.

“Is this a trick?”

“No.”

“Solo. You know that.”

“Mm. Come with me, then.” Her hand shot out and she grabbed his wrist, pulling him to the living room. “Poe, would you play that video for Ben? I think he’d enjoy it.”

Poe shrugged, holding up Rey’s phone. “Sure.”

Ben looked at Rey desperately. “Rey—”

Suddenly a video appeared on the screen, and Poe held it out for Ben to see. On one side of the video was a music video, and on the other was—

“Ben Shapiro,” Rey said, propping an arm on Ben’s shoulder. “He read the lyrics to WAP on his show. It’s hysterical. Finn, isn’t it hysterical?”

“Insane,” Finn snorted.

Ben stared at the video until his eyes glazed over. As Poe and Rose started chortling again, somewhere in the back of Ben’s mind he _did_ find it hilarious, hearing the words said in the flat, outraged monotone, the words that were lyrics to a song he had heard before, but did not piece it together until just now.

“What do you think, Ben?” Rey asked, snapping his attention back on her. She was hiding a grin.

Ben cleared his throat and forced a smile, wondering how many times he was going to feel embarrassed tonight. “It’s hilarious.”

Conversation rapidly switched, as it does, and Poe and Finn were having it out on whether or not _Die Hard_ constituted as a Christmas movie, while Rose and Jannah exchanged glances and commandeered the television remote. Rey stood leaning against the wall, arms crossed and eyeing her shoes, a small smile playing at her lips. Ben quietly ducked out of the living room and went to the back garden.

He watched the sun slowly disappear into a chill evening, not quite seeing it. Behind him, he heard the back door quietly open and close.

A warm body settled next to him. “You know,” Rey said, conversationally, “I used to wonder what kind of person could up and turn my whole life upside down. Buying out my bookstore and merging it?” Rey whistled lowly. “Turns out, all it took was an egghead with nice hair.”

Ben rolled his eyes, taking the out for what it was. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Say ‘p-word’ again.”

Ben glared.

“Say it.”

“No.”

“Come on.”

“No.”

“I wonder who you it was you drunk-called.”

Pausing, Ben reached in his pocket and withdrew his phone. Checking.

 _Figures_. “My mom.” Ben shoved the phone back in his pocket, resigned to Rey’s barely restrained laughter.

“I’ll have to ask Leia tomorrow what you said.”

Ben glared heavily.

“Is that why you were hiding in the hedges?”

A slow exhale. “It seemed a good idea at the time.”

“You were a bit wiggly.”

“Snow slipped down my shirt.”

Rey burst into tinkering laughter, light and beautiful. Ben glanced at her and her eyes were full of mirth, and not unkind.

Ben sighed. “Are we done with round three of embarrassing things that happen to me tonight?”

“Is that what we’re doing?”

“Isn’t it?”

“I thought we were leading up to it.”

“To what?”

Rey pushed up on her toes, leaning into his side, and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. It was quick as lightning, and a second later she settled back against the brick wall.

His lips were tingling, aided by the cold evening air. A smile tugged against his lips, and he gazed down at her. “How long were you waiting to do that?”

“A while. Hearing you say ‘p-word’ was the final push.”

“Oh really.”

“Yep. Now if you say ‘whores in this house’—”

Ben silenced her with his mouth, feeling Rey’s smile against his lips.


End file.
